am I really Rhea?

If you want to see a weird movie, see Tarkovsky's Solaris (1972). If you want to see a weirder movie, see Soderbergh's Solaris (2002). If you want to become weird, read Stanislav Lem's novel, Solaris (1961).

Well, to be honest, I am actually quite intrigue by all these Solaris stuffs. They have the ingredients of things that I am interested in: morality, reason, memory, consciousness, intelligence, existence and feelings. Maybe this is my unconscious reaction to my other interest in the physical environment and its construct. Or those could be just a universal human interest. Last but not least, it would be interesting to analyze all these versions of Solaris as a case study for the evolution of ideas and interpretations. Let’s quote Gibrarian’s word in the 2002 Solaris, “There are no answers, only choices.”

miss home

Psalm 119:89-96
Your word, O LORD, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens. Your faithfulness continues through all generations; you established the earth, and it endures. Your laws endure to this day, for all things serve you. If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have preserved my life. Save me, for I am yours; I have sought out your precepts. The wicked are waiting to destroy me, but I will ponder your statutes. To all perfection I see a limit; but your commands are boundless.

I heard about this psalm today at the church. My pastor shared about the intimate loving relationship we have with our God. Sometime, in life, we can keep running away from Him but surely at some point we will miss home. The unfathomable side of our faith is that we know God is always there ready to accept us with open hands. It is that feeling of a personal and loving God that I felt today through this verse.

solaris

I just finished watching Tarkovsky's Solaris. This is the first time I ever experienced a movie like this. It took me almost a week to finish it. It's so slow-paced so I had to pause, sleep, and continue the next day. I just realized it's parallel to Kris Kelvin's experience in the station. A series of oscillating memories, realities, and dreams. During the day, the images in the movie stayed in mind and intermixing with my reality. And at night, both got mixed together in my dreams. Actually, I discovered a new way to experience a film by wacthing it in segments, just like reading a novel. This is the perfect cinematic “blur” project. Cool. The end of the film, however, is very perplexing to me. It shows an island appearing on the ocean of Solaris. Did he eventually return to earth? Or is that showing the alien form adapting to the consciousness of human and evolving after interacting psychic-ly with Kris? Or did Tarkovsky prophecy the end of socialism in Russia? : ) I am curious to know your personal reading of that.

wounded in love

Tell me what a feeling looks like. Sad. It’s just in there. What makes me sad? See a woman that I love, got married, had a children, and lived happily with her family. A feeling never leaves you. Really. I tried to avoid it and bury it for the last nine years thinking that I had been pretty far from it. I tried to replace it with another one. It worked a little bit, temporarily, but not erasing it. Maybe this what people called wounded in love. What can a year do to you? It can torture your feeling for the rest of your life. That’s what I felt. Is feeling real or merely an illusion of imagination?