The weirdiest thing just happened, dad just called me out of nowhere asking me to email somebody I don’t know. This is the second time he called me in a week, that’s quite unusual because we usually talk once every several months. Yeah, that might be strange to you but believe it or not, that’s normal to us. Anyway, when he called me Monday or Tuesday morning, I was working in the office frantically for a deadline so the call was really unexpected (and unwanted). Especially when he told me about a daughter of his business friend and asked me to introduce myself to her. I said ‘what…..?!’ and then went into another room away from my desk. I just kept smiling afterward, couldn’t believe it. Other than getting a first dating lesson from my dad, the idea is just so silly to me.
Maybe there is a preconception in me about the notion of match marriage or match dating as desperate and .. ehm, lame? That preconception might not be true, because at least one-sixth of the world population, the South Asians, think otherwise. I have heard from many people that match marriage is actually quite beautiful because you get to fall in love slowly and deeper after the wedding day. That concept doesn’t make sense to many of us I think because we are so preconditioned to the modern slash western way of marriage/courting. But that modern slash western concept of marriage or courting is also changing all the time and has never always be like we know it today. And many will point out to the high divorce rate in our society today with what we think as the ‘ideal’ way of courting or marriage.
I remember Jhumpa Lahiri’s and Mira Nair’s Namesake, one of my reference film. It’s a really good movie if you haven’t watched it yet. One of the background themes is actually about the culture of arranged marriage. She explores the issue with two examples that have two different outcomes. The first is between Ashoke and Ashima. That’s the perfect example of falling in love after the wedding. The second is between their son Gogol and Moushoumi. Their’s is not an arranged marriage in a traditional sense but can still be categorized as “arranged marriage” and it doesn’t work out well.
Another thing comes in my mind is when I watched the news a few days ago, Bill Clinton was asked by a young girl, what is marriage like. He said marriage is like when you meet a person who becomes your best friend. And the best part is you get to live with your best friend for the rest of your life. His answer is actually quite eloquent, although it’s kind of weird to hear it from Bill.
So now let’s get back to my problem. What should I do? My dad’s idea still sounds silly to me after all the dialectic above inside my mind. Not that I don’t know how to express my feelings to girls, because I do… or at least I think I do. I know some people will be skeptical about this because of the nerdy way I write my blogs. But asked K, she will tell you. Talking about her, ehm, that’s one the reasons I am hesitant to think about another date. I still can’t forget her. Now I understood all the country singers who are always lamenting about losing their women. It is not that we can not forget or move on and become suicidal but it’s because when after you are in a deep relationship with some one, the feelings and memories can never disappear, instead they are ingrained in you heart.
Well, these are the sort of things you have to deal with when you are past 25, parents trying to get you a date.
Maybe there is a preconception in me about the notion of match marriage or match dating as desperate and .. ehm, lame? That preconception might not be true, because at least one-sixth of the world population, the South Asians, think otherwise. I have heard from many people that match marriage is actually quite beautiful because you get to fall in love slowly and deeper after the wedding day. That concept doesn’t make sense to many of us I think because we are so preconditioned to the modern slash western way of marriage/courting. But that modern slash western concept of marriage or courting is also changing all the time and has never always be like we know it today. And many will point out to the high divorce rate in our society today with what we think as the ‘ideal’ way of courting or marriage.
I remember Jhumpa Lahiri’s and Mira Nair’s Namesake, one of my reference film. It’s a really good movie if you haven’t watched it yet. One of the background themes is actually about the culture of arranged marriage. She explores the issue with two examples that have two different outcomes. The first is between Ashoke and Ashima. That’s the perfect example of falling in love after the wedding. The second is between their son Gogol and Moushoumi. Their’s is not an arranged marriage in a traditional sense but can still be categorized as “arranged marriage” and it doesn’t work out well.
Another thing comes in my mind is when I watched the news a few days ago, Bill Clinton was asked by a young girl, what is marriage like. He said marriage is like when you meet a person who becomes your best friend. And the best part is you get to live with your best friend for the rest of your life. His answer is actually quite eloquent, although it’s kind of weird to hear it from Bill.
So now let’s get back to my problem. What should I do? My dad’s idea still sounds silly to me after all the dialectic above inside my mind. Not that I don’t know how to express my feelings to girls, because I do… or at least I think I do. I know some people will be skeptical about this because of the nerdy way I write my blogs. But asked K, she will tell you. Talking about her, ehm, that’s one the reasons I am hesitant to think about another date. I still can’t forget her. Now I understood all the country singers who are always lamenting about losing their women. It is not that we can not forget or move on and become suicidal but it’s because when after you are in a deep relationship with some one, the feelings and memories can never disappear, instead they are ingrained in you heart.
Well, these are the sort of things you have to deal with when you are past 25, parents trying to get you a date.